


The Shy One

by Living_On_My_Own



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Bullying, Childhood Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Insults, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:47:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24916360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Living_On_My_Own/pseuds/Living_On_My_Own
Summary: They had always been friends, but over the years, they always noticed something missing.
Relationships: John Deacon/Freddie Mercury
Kudos: 10





	The Shy One

3rd person's POV:

"Why don't you go play, Freddie? It'll be fun! Go make friends!" The teacher said to the little boy that stayed in the class during the break.

He sat in the corner of the class, drawing creatures in an imaginary world he had imagined. The one he made for him and his sister when they wanted to escape. Rhye. He didn't want to go outside and play. He wanted to say inside, help his teacher, draw, escape.

"They won't play with me." He whispered to the woman in front of him.

She was so nice, letting him be in his own world. She didn't care who he was, where he came from, how he looked. She made a team with him when he was the only child without a partner to work, when nobody asked him to be with him. She didn't make fun of his teeth.

"Why won't they play with you, kitten?" She asked so quietly, putting a hand in his long hair comfortingly.

"I'm not funny enough." Freddie whispered again.

"Who said that, love?" She said with a bit of concern in her voice.

He took a sheet of paper from the pocket in his pants. He unfolded it with his tiny hands, he rubbed his eyes until they were red. He gave the paper to the teacher, sniffling every few seconds. His mama had told him, he needed to stop crying, he was being a baby, and he wasn't one anymore.

The crumpled paper was covered in names, a few of Freddie's had signed it. And there was a little note written on it saying: 'We don't want to play with you anymore. You're not funny, you don't talk and we don't like looking at your teeth.' It was filled with mistakes, a few of the letters written upside down. It had taken the little boy a few minutes to understand what was written, and as soon as he did he put the sheet in his pocket, he didn't cry, but he wanted to.

The woman frowned at the paper, feeling so disappointed and everything but proud. Kids were so cruel. She took the hand of the Persian, rubbing her thumb on it, hoping he would feel better. She wanted to say something, but she felt hopeless. What do you say to a boy that already doesn't like himself when he's only 7. What do you say to convince him of how much he's worth?

"Do you wanna tell me what you drew? It's so well done. I can't draw so well myself." She said with a big smile.

He looked up with his big brown eyes, a smile tugging at his lips. She ruffled his hair before kissing his forehead covered with a little frange. And the boy explained everything. The Fairy King, to the battle of ogre that happened in his imaginary kingdom. He was lost in his story, so young yet so old. The teacher eventually knew that he'd do something brilliant when he'd be older, something extraordinary.

The break ended, and the students ran in the classroom, sitting at their desks, excited to start working again. Yes, it exists students wanting to learn.

But today wasn't an ordinary day, and Freddie understood it when another boy with long wavy hair and green eyes walked to his desk. At first, the Persian boy avoided his eyes, expecting to be met with mean words, but he then lifted his head when the other boy said "hello".

"Hello..." The shy boy answered shyly and quietly.

Their eyes met, and honestly it could have meant absolutely nothing, but both smiled and felt their heart beat a bit more loudly. And at that time, it really meant nothing. The boy with the green eyes put his tiny hand on the sheet in front of Freddie, covered in drawings.

"I like your drawings, Freddie." He said quietly with red cheeks, which was rare for the extrovert boy.

"T-thank you, J-Johnny." The other responded, immediately blushing at the nickname he gave his new friend.

The raven haired boy felt his heart explode when John wrapped his arms around him. He had now his first friend. He didn't plan on ever letting go.

He later told his mama, with a big smile:

"He's gonna be my friend forever, mama!"

Five years later

It was honestly stupid. The 12 years old boys were sulking over some stupid fight. It wasn't their first fight at all, but it was the worst. So much for only a little comment coming from John.

"I think Veronica's pretty." He had said quietly to Freddie while looking at the girl.

Freddie huffed, his heart secretly twisting. He crossed slightly his arms and looked at John with an accusatory look. And the other boy was clearly confused, not used to seeing the Persian being that way, but it would take long for him to understand why.

"Why don't you go ask her to be your girlfriend, then?" Freddie snapped.

"What? Are you jealous?" John blurted out.

"No." The other said firmly.

He wasn't jealous. Why would he be jealous? John was his friend. He didn't want anything more. It was John, not anyone one else. His best friend, his only friend.

Okay, maybe he was only a bit jealous. Well maybe a bit more than a bit. But not that much! It didn't mean anything anyway, it was just because if John wanted to be with Veronica they wouldn't spend as much time together.

It was so stupid, but they still didn't eat together at lunch. It was the second time in five years that Freddie ate alone. The first time was when John was sick and he couldn't go to school. But that time hadn't been so bad since he knew John still loved him. Now he had no confirmation. And what made it worse was that everybody wanted to eat with John, asking him why he didn't come with them more, why he stayed with Bucky.

So "Bucky" ate with a paper beside him and drew the whole time, not feeling well enough to eat that much.

And during class they had a team work to do. Freddie did it alone while John did it with Veronica, obviously. People sniggered at the Persian and laughed at me for being alone, again. He ignored them, wanting so much to knock over his desk with how tired and mad he was.

They eventually made up, but Freddie never explained the source of his anger. They just hugged and decided to get over it, to forgive each other, be best friends again and eat together again. They said before, they would always be friends.

Five years later

Freddie's POV:

It had been so many years since we began being close, yet I would never be bored of it. He was my life, my only confident. We were so much older and the world had changed around us, but still loved each other as much, if not more.

We were so much different, but it wasn't until this year that I noticed it so much. John has always been the social one, to talk to everybody and be friends with so much people. And I was always the shy one, the one that stayed in the corner in the class, drawing. John was my only friend. He was loved by everyone, and I was hated by everyone.

I often ate alone when John was expected to eat with his friends. At first it made me feel miserable, but I learnt to deal with it, I was used to it. So I drew more while he socialised. I don't think my parents would be proud if they knew, they think I have dozens of friends.

People often talked about the fact that we were friends. Nobody understood why he wanted to be my friend, why we talked, why he even approached me. Everybody saw me as the loner, maybe the loser, but I never heard that insult.

We began dating a few months ago. We realised we were in love after years of hiding our feelings from each other. Everybody knew I was gay, it wasn't even a question, but John wasn't out and still wasn't ready for everybody to know. It caused a few fights between us, but it was fine now, or at least that's what I thought.

I accidentally told people in my class. We were talking, which is a rare thing for me, and I talked about John kissing me. And of course the people that I said it to didn't keep it to themselves, so John eventually learned about it. He was mad, extremely mad, and he wouldn't let me explain.

So we didn't talk for a few days, he ate with his friends and whenever I tried to make him look at me, he ignored me. I was aware he was hurt, and I completely understood why, but I just wanted him to listen, to let me tell him I was sorry, that I didn't mean it.

I was feeling lonely, not used to not talk with John for a few days. Not much people talked to me for other things than stupid things or insults. It didn't bother me anymore, it has been too long for that, but it began being annoying.

I decided to go and talk to him during lunch, because I had enough of him ignoring me. Of course, I didn’t bother taking him to the side, I just talked to him in front of everyone.

"I'm sorry John, I didn't mean to say it in front of everyone. I swear, I know you didn't want people knowing yet." I said, hoping he would forgive me.

"Of course, Freddie. Like I didn't notice how impatient you were for us to come out. It's pretty a Freddie thing to pretend to blurt out to get what you want isn't it?" John answered coldly.

He stared at me with an unimpressed look on his face and crossed his arms. My heart dropped and suddenly I felt angry. How dare he accused me of a such thing. I had been nothing but a good boyfriend to him and he was like that with me.

"It's that I'm embarrassing you, isn't it? You're ashamed of being with me?" I growled, but my voice was silently dripping with hurt.

"My god, Freddie, don't be that way." He said, annoyance clearly hearable.

"What way? I've been doing doing my absolute best and you're being horrible to me! That's the only explanation I can think of!" I said, my voice getting louder by the second.

"It's not that Freddie." He whispered, trying to be as discreet as possible.

"I know I'm embarrassing, John! I just never thought it bothered you!" I yelled.

He rubbed his face tiredly. He let out a deep sigh before looking around, seeing that everybody was looking at us. But I didn't care, I didn't fucking care.

"Can we do this another time, Fred? Or at least less loudly?" He said with his voice down.

"Why? Because I'm embarrassing you? Because it's me, John? The guy only known as either a poof or as Bucky?" I continued to yell.

I was so angry. I wanted tear my hair from my head, to scream at the top of my lungs, to shove John against a wall and asked him what changed, why he was ashamed to be with me now.

I got up on one of the tables of the cafeteria with fire burning in my chest and a thunderstorm breaking off in my head. John put his head in his hands and let out a grunt. Embarrassing, again. That's all I do.

"Is it embarrassing enough now, John?! Do you need me to do that so you can finally understand?? I don't even know what point I'm trying to make! But I know it's all I'm able to do! Embarrass you!" I said loudly.

I lifted my arms, looking around to all the students looking and whispering in each other's ears. I heard a student yelling some stupid thing calling me Bucky. It didn't matter.

"Look everybody! Look! Here's Bucky yelling on a table trying to find what is wrong with him! How hilarious! But Bucky doesn't give a fuck about any of you because you didn't give a flying fuck about him. And John, Bucky doesn't fucking understand why he thought you could ever love him! So go all fuck yourselves!" I shouted.

I wanted to stomp my feet, to break the table under my feet. I wanted to let everybody know I was tired of their taunting, that I had enough of being called names and being seen stupid and worthless. I had enough of that all over the years, of people treating me like shit because I loved someone that was a man, because I wasn't from here, because I wasn't beautiful like everybody else.

So I walked away quickly, I pushed through the crowd of students that had formed around us. The tears came and I let them fall, because I didn't have the energy to fight them back. I didn't look back, I didn't look at John. It was useless, so useless. He had decided I wasn't what he wanted, that maybe they were all right about me, I don't know what he believed. But I knew he didn't love me enough to make sure he wouldn't lose me. He didn't love me like I wished he did.

"Freddie! Wait!"

I didn't wait for him. I didn't want to see his face. It would be easier to cope, to forget about him if he didn't talk to me again, if he didn't show in any way that he could care. But he stopped me before I could go far, and I cursed myself for not deciding to run.

"Freddie, I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. I don't know what came over me, I was angry, I didn't think." He rambled.

"When do you ever think anyway?" I laughed through my tears.

He giggled in front of me before holding me tight in his arms. I sobbed as quietly as possible with my nose in the crook of his neck. He shushed me, repeating he was sorry and he loved me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him tighter.

"I love you too, Johnny."

Ten years later

"Why don't you want to tell them, John?!"

It was like the same fight was happening all over again. The same reason, different years. And I was as mad today as I was years ago. I was tired with dealing with that all over again.

"Why is it always the fucking same?!" I yelled.

John was the worst in an argument. I hated to fight with him. Each time, he looked so careless, face blank, like none of this bothered him. It was the face that he made that I hated the most. And it often made me even angrier. He never talked, never raised his voice. Never insulted me when I wanted him to show he was mad. He never reacted when I wanted him to yell and tell me I was stupid and heartless, alone.

I prayed for him to once, only once, shout at the top of his lungs, until it made me feel horrible, until it made me cry. But he stayed still, and I felt like I was gonna go crazy. It was making me the bad one, it made me feel worse, because I was the only one fighting, the only one being mad. Only because he wouldn't tell Brian and Roger we were together.

All the yelling made my voice hoarse, my chest empty, my head ache so fucking painfully. It pounded and pounded, every one of my steps bringing an other thump in my head. And I didn't understand, I still didn't understand why it was the same.

Why didn't he want to tell them? Why wasn't he showing we were together? Why wasn't he as excited as me to show the world we loved each other? Was I being too much? Too excited? Too in love? Too embarrassing...?

"What is it John?" I lowered my voice.

I covered my face with my hands. And I cried, again. I cried until I was dehydrated. I cried until I couldn't anymore, until I gave up.

"What am I doing wrong? I know you're ashamed of me. I-I know I'm embarrassing. But why does it bother you now? What have I done for you to be so embarrassed?" I choked out, trying so hard for my voice not to waver.

His arms wrapped around me quickly, like at the end of all our fights. He held me tightly, so tightly. I clenched my teeth shut, tightly. I held onto his T-shirt with fists closed, tightly. I closed my eyes shut, feeling new tears I thought impossible, tightly. I tried to hold onto his scent, onto his feel, onto his proximity, tightly, so so so tightly.

He dropped a kiss on my cheek, exactly where a tear had fallen. He put his hands at the back of my head, holding me in place. His fingers played with my hair, twirling them around, soothing me.

I was never bothered by all those insults that had been thrown at me. Well, I was when it began, but after a certain time, I stopped listening. But the only thing I found unbearable was to think that maybe John believed them, that maybe he thought they were right.

“Nothing. There’s nothing wrong with you, okay? I’m only scared, okay? Scared of the impact it will have on our friendship with them, on our reputation. I don’t want you to go through what you went through all those years. I’ve seen you for so long being called names and being left in the corner, I don’t want this to happen again. I don’t want our fans to act this way, to make you feel like that’s what you deserve, like that’s what how you should live. And I know it’s stupid because our fans are extraordinary, but it scares me so much, love. I love you so much, Freddie. And you’re wrong, I’d never ever be ashamed of you.m, or embarrassed, because I love you and only because of who you are. I never want you to think that ever again.” John said.

“I love you too.” I answered, with tears in my eyes, but this time, in a good way.

We told Brian and Roger a few days later, and our fans a month later. And I couldn’t have wished for a better reaction. We got even more love as usual. Of course, not everyone was happy and we did get insults, but we didn’t care.

And we had many more fights the years following, involving every of our insecurities at some point, but it was never again about that subject. Because now both of us were proud and yelled it loudly, that we loved each other.


End file.
